8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Randomize
