I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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