hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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