i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
