She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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