I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
