i need an iv and a liver transplant
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
