I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
