Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
