this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
