My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize