were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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