If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
