I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
