I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
