He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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