I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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