home. puking in laundry basket.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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