Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize