so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
