it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
