PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
