I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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