i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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