I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
