Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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