I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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