This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
