Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
