i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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