He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
