they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
