There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize