what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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