i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
