I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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