I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
