u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize