So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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