i think my mom watched the whole time
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
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