I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
