Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
