i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
