You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
