In the future we'll all be gay
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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