Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
