please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
