Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
