I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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