As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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