help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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