You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
only you would photoshop your dick
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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