yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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