I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
