Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
